reflections kick my butt

As I mentioned a few days ago, Sr. Helena’s book “He Speaks to You” reflections have been spot on for me lately.  As I am in my own spiritual battle, these reflections most days are just what I need to wake me up with a swift kick in the pants!  Today’s was no exception.  Here is the opening excerpt:

People claim they want to be free.  But often what they want is a perfect world according to their own tastes. They want Me to intervene when they need something fixed, but they want Me to stay out of the rest of their affairs.

Ouch!  Convicted!  Lately, this has been my frame of reference.  Why can’t the world just see things the way that I see them?  Why can’t God make men (and other women) be nicer to each other and see the good in each person versus judging and using one another for their own personal needs?  Why….. why….. why….  Of course, all of these why’s align with my own sense of what is right or wrong.  And we all know how on target my thinking can be — NOT!  *sigh*  I would want God to intervene and make life easier in some ways like removing all of the temptations that lead me to sin.  Because as much as I don’t WANT to sin, I do anyway.  As St. Paul says in Romans 7:15:

For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate.

So, once again, here I sit, convicted of the very thing I hate!  And as much as I ‘think’ I want God to intervene, I have to be honest and say that when He has, I haven’t been all that happy about the intervention. 😦

Under the ‘Words of Wisdom’ section of today’s reflection, it reminds me of why I really don’t want God to intervene….

Because of suffering, some people contend that God cannot be all-powerful, all-just, and all-good.  They argue that He’d like to help us, but can’t.  This, of course, is not true.  If God kept directly intervening, we wouldn’t be free.  (emphasis added)

So, the reality is that I love my freedom too much to give it up.  I love the ability to be able to discern what I believe God is calling me to do and then being able to make the choice whether I want to rise to the challenge and do it or not.  Many times, I respond quickly and jump right in and get to work on that challenge.  Many times, I haven’t.  That is when I have sat by the wayside way too long whining and crying about how bad life is.  But, eventually, something or someone gives me that kick in the hind end that gets me going.  Thankfully, those I love are willing to do that sometimes.  I would like to say that I don’t ever really need that kick in the pants, but since I don’t know of an opportunity for confession now with the Triduum starting tomorrow and Easter only days away, I won’t go there.  🙂

So, as angry and frustrated as I get when the world doesn’t conform to the way that I think it should run and am oftentimes hurt by the actions of others, I need to keep reminding myself that if I want my freedoms, so do others.  I need to recognize their right and ability to do things their way.  Now, I don’t have to say that I will agree with them and say that no matter what they think, it is all okay (for that is relativism and THAT is an evil in and of itself; there is Truth and that is my goal).  But, I do have to recognize their own innate right of freedom, the same right that I have.  We all have the right to do good or to sin.  My prayer is that my choice is always for the good and if I mess up (as I know I will) that God works with me and brings good from the bad.

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