continual chaos

Well, the last time I posted, our 3rd daughter was in the beginning of the process of being transferred from our private distance learning school to the local Catholic high school.  The transfer has occurred and so far all seems to be going smoothly.  I am still hesitant on calling it a success though as honestly, there is a part of me that doesn’t quite know yet whether ‘I’ have fully come to terms with this yet.  I am almost waiting for the shoe to drop.  But, we stepped out in faith and in faith we wait to see how this will turn out.  So far, she is loving her new school, teachers and seems to be thriving with the structure of her days.

As I said, for me though….. the jury is still out.  With her new schedule, comes an entirely new existence for me.  We just started back to our own school schedule after the holidays and so have only had 2 days without her presence at home during the day.  I see good things — I can put much more focus on her 2 younger sisters and we can do more fun things now that I am not as tied down to being here constantly to keep her on task.  That is good for them, but is going to wear this mama out!

When I stopped by our business earlier today, one of our younger employees commented that she was looking forward to her day off tomorrow when the only thing that was on her schedule was to come in for an hour to work, my immediate reaction was one of total jealousy!  I couldn’t help but think that there isn’t a day off in my foreseeable future. *sigh*  I even received a gift certificate for an hour-long massage for Christmas and I don’t know when I will be able to actually use it.

Part of it is this time of the year.  This time of year ALWAYS brings total and complete overwhelming ‘To do’ lists with all of the reports, end of year stats, taxes, audits etc that are involved with owning your own business.  Add in the usual ‘after the holiday’ tasks like taking down the decorations and cleaning the house after visitors and parties in addition to the normal chaos of a family of seven, and the feelings of being overwhelmed become almost unbearable.

This year we have reached an all new ‘high’ of being overwhelmed.  With the new schedule for daughter #3, new activities for daughters #4 and #5 on top of the already crazy swimmer’s schedule of daughter #2, this mama feels like my bottom end is glued to my car seat some days!  Now if I can figure out how to take my office and laptop along to work on while driving kids every direction under the sun, I just might be able to survive all of this.

God knows me too well though.  Every time I start feeling too overwhelmed, a scripture keeps popping into my mind…..

HE must increase but I must decrease.  John 3:30  

What can I say?  I am a cradle Catholic and Catholic guilt goes a long way!!!  So, now instead of continuing to wallow in my own wants, it is time to get off of here and do what I should be doing.  Getting to work.  🙂

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”  Matthew 19:26

I’m counting on it God!


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