It is hard to believe that it has been almost 2 weeks since I last posted! Time flies without us even realizing it is going. When life gets so busy that we aren’t even fully aware of time passing and the opportunities being missed, it is time to once again slow down and refocus our energies.
When I look back at the last few weeks trying to figure out what exactly has kept me so busy that I haven’t been posting, I see a couple of things that have taken my focus off of my daily reflections. First of all, I have been dealing with things I had put off for too long. I finally bought the furniture I had been wanting since we moved almost one year ago (dining room chairs, couch, futon, and outdoor patio furniture). I have also been working with the accountant on taxes, taxes, and more taxes. There will be more of the accountant work in the near future as we restructure the business to take better advantage of some tax savings. But, the item that has taken much of my free time is the new diet that I have been on since Easter Sunday. The new program takes focus, planning, extra time cooking as I prepare food for the family and then food for me separately, as well as more time sleeping.
As I talked with my spiritual director yesterday, my goal even with this food program is to NOT turn the focus to me. It frustrates me that I am separated from the rest of the family when it comes to eating. I eat with them, but not the same food and the sharing of the same food at the same table has a meaning and significance that I hadn’t realized until it wasn’t happening. I console myself with the fact that right now, I am taking care of my health needs right now, just as I did when I had surgery a couple of summers ago. This is really no different and as then, it will not last forever. 3 more weeks of separate foods and then there will be much that I can eat the same as they do. So, for now, I focus on what I need to day by day and strive to live the best that I can.
Today is the day of the Good Shepherd! I will strive to be a good sheep (although my husband likes to point out to me regularly that sheep aren’t very intelligent) but I am comforted by the knowledge that if I stray away from the rest of the group, He will come and find me and gently bring me back. Without His guiding hand, I would be lost and left out in the dark world very lonely and very lost. It is only through His strength that I have been able to continue with this diet program even with all of the restrictions that go along with it. On my own, I am weak. But, with His guidance, I am capable of anything!
My remaining prayer is that I could continue to maintain my calm during the coming week or so as the schedule is stressed and I will be traveling and be out for meals. May I stay strong and be a strong witness of the grace that the Good Shepherd has gifted me.