heh??? What did you say Jesus? I didn’t hear you.

Today’s Gospel reading has the famous line: “This is my beloved Son.  Listen to Him.” But, what it doesn’t share is how.  I know I’m not the only one who struggles sometimes and wishes the Lord would just speak to me clearly and LOUDLY telling me what I am supposed to be doing.  At least, I hope I’m not. 🙂  Going through life today can feel like a person walking through a minefield.  Just when you think you have it figured out as to what step to take next, you second guess yourself, or someone else yells at you to stop or all of a sudden, you see that there is a mine there and if you stepped there, you would be blown up.

I know Jesus talks to us.  I have heard His subtle messages within my reflections during my Holy Hours.  I have felt His presence within my life.  I have had strong feelings one way or another in a situation and know with everything in me that those feelings came from God.  And yet at others, I feel like I am deaf, dumb, blind and mute.  I don’t know what to say, what to do, what to think and so I do nothing but worry and obsess over what is happening.  At times like this, I feel despondent and can totally relate to Christ in the garden crying out to God, “Oh why did you abandon me?”  I feel persecuted for things of which I am innocent.  I want to cry out to those around me that they have the wrong person when they are calling out “Crucify, crucify”.

It is during these times that I come closer to God.  I can identify with what He went through as I struggle with my cross.  And yet, it is at times like these, that I am the most blind to what is happening, for it is truly impossible to see the glory of the resurrection coming when you are in the depths of despair.   So, when we are blind, it is at times like these that we really need to use our other senses and just be still and know He is God.  Then, listen!

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