Make the most of me….

Today (actually, more like the last week),  has been a day of contemplation.  It is hard to put my finger on what, if anything, is wrong.  When I look at the day, I can’t see anything out of line.  School this morning with the girls went fine.  Staff meeting at the clinic went according to the agenda.  Errands and conversation with a friend this afternoon was nothing earth shattering.  Hubby even did part of the evening activity driving so that I could be home.  So, I can’t put my finger on the “what”, but I can tell you that I just don’t feel as confident or as “up” as usual.

I do know that earlier this week, a situation occurred that brought on the feeling of fear.  Not just fear, but an old fear from my childhood and teenage years, that has lain dormant most of my adult life with only rare appearances.  But, this fear is one that unsettles me and makes me very introspective.  It especially makes me doubt myself.  On top of that feeling of fear, I also talked with two very good friends who are having problems within their marriages and are in the process of divorce.  I heard this same fear within their voices and again, I was unsettled.

Today, while in this reflective mood, I came across a facebook post with a link to Marie Miller’s new song, “Live”.  When I clicked the link, I found that I really liked the song, but kept remembering another song of hers, “You Make the Most of me”.  So, I clicked on the link and sat back and listened to it several times in a row.  I love this song and listen to it whenever I am feeling overwhelmed and weak like I am tonight.  It helps me to remember that I am not on my own.  The good in my life isn’t my doing.  It is Him.  Only through His grace, can I be the person I want to be.

Here are the words to the song.  I encourage you to listen.  It might help you gain perspective too.  Check it out at www.mariemiller.net.

On my own, I’m afraid to step out on the sea.
All alone, no mountain will move for me.
But you breathe your life into my soul.
You take away the impossible.

I can feel your mystery moving in my hands and feet
Leading me through disbelief, finding strength when I feel weak.
You make the most of me. You make the most of me.

With you here, I see sight return to the blind.
When you’re near, I can watch the dead come to life.
You shine your light into our souls.
You make all things possible.

I can feel your mystery moving in my hands and feet
Leading me through disbelief, finding strength when I feel weak.
You make the most of me. You make the most of me.

When I don’t have the words, you will be my voice.
When I don’t understand, I will still rejoice.
You make the most of me. You make the most of me.

You make the most of me. You make the most of me.

I can feel your mystery moving in my hands and feet
Leading me through disbelief, finding strength when I feel weak.
You make the most of me. You make the most of me.

You make the most of me. You make the most of me.

This song has been running as a backdrop through my mind today.  So, when I sat down to read and reflect on today’s readings, it was with little surprise that I saw the following words of St. Paul to Timothy:

“For God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather of power and love and self-control.  So, do not be ashamed of your testimony to our Lord, nor of me, a prisoner for his sake; but bear your share of hardship for the Gospel with the strength that comes from God. “

You know…  Sometimes…  He blows me away with these little things that if I pay attention give me hope.  On my own, I am nothing.  But, with God?    “…with the strength that comes from God.”  He  “make(s) the most of me.”

(If you want to hear Marie perform live, come to The Behold Conference on March 10, 2012.  You can register and see more about the conference at  www.beholdconference.com.  I’ll be there to find out how God plans to make the most of me, will you?)

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One thought on “Make the most of me….

  1. It sounds like you have very strong intuition. Your feelings are trying to tell you something but you don’t yet know what. What a good idea then to turn to scripture, allowing the Holy Spirit to show you. Thank you for your reflection and introducing me to that song.

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